One of the things that has been a familiar part of my faith journey has been the ridiculous amount of questions that seem to accompany trying to live like Jesus.
Over the years my questions have served as a form of discouragement for me. Each answer would come married to a series of deeper questions. Each bit of faith solidified within me would only serve to uproot other points of theology that would raise their own questions. And the cycle would continue. As I looked at the seemingly solid faith of Christians around me, my own questions and insecurities became an even greater area of discouragement.
Enter Mary.
Growing up a Protestant Christian in the South, the Virgin Mary served two purposes. She was the holy incubator and she gave Joseph something to look at during Christmas plays. That was it. Any belief outside of those two areas would get you kicked out of VBS. (That’s Vacation Bible School for all of my heathen friends)
As I began to study the Catholic faith, however, I began to find hidden gems that connected with my heart. As I prayed through the Catholic Prayer book I felt my own spirit expressed through the prayers of the saints. As I prayed the Orthodox Prayer Rope, my heart joined with the thousands of others as we begged Jesus to “Have mercy on me a sinner.” I was also comforted by the life of Mary. This once taboo subject would become my greatest encouragement in dealing with all of my own questions.
In looking at the life of Jesus, I found that his life was book ended with questions.
His conception was ushered in with a question: “How can this be for I am a virgin?”
And his earthly life was ended with a question: “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?”
If Mary could have questions and still be used by God maybe there was hope for me. If the life of Jesus was filled with questions to God, and I was trying to live like Jesus, maybe my questions were not to be discouraged but to be celebrated.
This, for me, has been a liberation of enormous proportions. I have begun to embrace my questioning as a catalyst on my journey rather that a road block. With each question comes an opportunity for God to show me something new.
When the questioning stops, the journey ends.
So join with me and the many others as we celebrate the great visitation and begin our own journeys filled with questions.
May your questions always bring more questions and may your journey never end!
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